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[Nov. 30th, 2006|03:08 pm] |
Yesterday night I visited mum and hooked up her computer to her new modem. She isn't the most internet savvy but she can figure out the web and has some clue what is out there.
I showed her a few web sites. Her face lit up.
"Hey, this could really change my whole life. I can hang out on ebay all night and turn into one of those people that squint when they see daylight. Heck I might even start dating online!"
I mumbled something about having been down that road. The hesitation to follow through setting up her internet connection was immense. |
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| Nonarresticated |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|11:05 am] |
I was not carrying my phone on Saturday night. Sunday morning I discovered I had a few messages. As of late I have been dreading voice mail. The messages have not been as fun. I worry who might be in the hospital next.
My first message was a nice hello. The second was mum trying to track me down.
"Sean, it's your mother." (Why does she think I will not know who it is?) "I just got a collect call from the Macomb County police and it was all garbled and the answering machine cut off. I have no idea if it was you or not and I am just trying to call to make sure you are ok and you are not in any kind of trouble."
Nice.....
Ok, that's not so horrible I guess. She is worried about her son. Yes I was in trouble but it was all safe and good and certainly not anything I wanted my mother to know about or explain. And if there was any police involved they were off duty.
But the third call was from Adam.
"Hey Sean, it's Adam. Hey uhm......your mom just called. Apparently the police called her...."
This was the start of a chain reaction where he then called two friends and they called two friends........
So, if I play it up right I can make it sound like I had a pretty interesting weekend. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|11:19 am] |
The other day I picked up my mother to drive her around to take care of chores. She is always overly concerned with her appearance. She fussed with her shirt picking off a few tiny pieces of lint and then looked at me with a bit of distress.
"I need a mint or something."
"Oh...well all I have are these breath strips."
"What are these?"
I opened up the small container and slid one out for her. She accepted the tiny piece of paper and examined it.
"You just place it on your tongue and...."
"EW!"
"NO! Don't bite it."
"BLECK"
She had only got half the strip in her mouth before she tried to chew it. It melted on her lips and became a gooey mess.
"SEAN!"
"I told you not to bite it."
"What is this? It's awful."
She held the other half in her hand toward me trying to figure out what to do with the now melting piece of film. It stuck to her fingers and she wildly flung her hand about trying to shake it loose. She continued to rub at her face with her other hand in an effort to remove the sticky mess that was now covering her teeth and lips.
"Oh god, that's horrible. Now I need something to get THAT taste out of my mouth." |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 5th, 2006|03:10 pm] |
Today I took mom to a lawyer. If anything she just wanted to see where she stood with the estate and what rights she has. It's all pretty clear and she feels a lot more comfortable. She also wants to finalize her will. That was hard to think about. She left the law office feeling much better.
"Let's get some lunch. I need a sandwich."
This is a good sign. I was happy she wanted to eat something other than soup. I asked where she might like to go. She was stumped but then laughed.
"Let's go to a gay bar."
I choked.
"The gay bars around here aren't really known for their food service, mum. Why a gay bar anyway?"
"Hey, I can be eccentric now. I can run around in gowns and collect small dogs."
I advised her that there is enough gay men doing this without her help. |
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| Inflewensah |
[Aug. 18th, 2005|04:29 pm] |
standard copy paper with sharpie® on red
Mom called the other day.
"John has West Nile Virus."
"Who?"
"John."
"Should I know who this person is?"
"John, the man renting out the cottage."
Apparently she walked over to check on our guests and found him practically unable to move. His friend said he was just being a baby. My mother could see there was a real problem and finally convinced him he needed to go to the hospital. They did the cultures and all that medical voodoo and determined it is indeed West Nile.
"He's one of two people recorded in Ontario with the illness"
"Lovely, he's famous. I am sure when he drops dead people will flock to rent the cabin."
Thing is no one is certain if he contracted it at the cottage or back in California where he is from. Either way mom is on the look out for dead birds and other suspicious symptoms in the locals. Mom is where my hypochondria stems from. Everything is potentially a threat. Imagine her horror when she looked out the window and saw the dog rolling around on the carcass of now unidentifiable winged animal. She immediately threw the dog in the shower and hopped on the phone with disease control.
I am having visions of my mother wandering about the road with bright yellow rubber gloves and trash bag full of expired animals. What will passers by dub her?
Ah, the cast of characters just gets more interesting. |
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